Thursday, January 28, 2010

A letter to "YOU"

Self pity,disgust and disappointment.

That's what i'v been loathing in lately. Honestly, I was zonked. Zonked enough not to write about it and writing is my agony aunt. Zonked!!
Every time i shut my eyes it haunts me like a cheap reminder I desperately want to get rid of.
My temples thump to the horrid tune of your words. Misery is taking over my body.

The way you looked at me,that fierce look. Unsettling and intense,like you could read my mind and sense my fears. I know i kept looking away like you were not having an effect on me,like your opinion meant little,like your sarcastic laugh could not knock me down.

It was wrong you kept me in a loop till the very end. We started this together but unlike you, I wanted it to end in the "right way". I wanted to be with you,so bad. I only realized it much later unfortunately you,sensed my dilemma. Too bad. A double heart is can be a bad thing. Good for you,you knew what you wanted.
You wanted her. I was number two.

After effects haven't been pretty at all. Desperate pleas turned to disappointments which in turn flowed as tears. Tears of misery. Plain misery.

I've been counseled,massively spoken to,taken to a corner for a chat,consoled over the phone. I've tried over eating, excessive drinking, mindless cinema. For starters, the experienced were right. Nothing works,NOTHING.
Nothing and nobody can take away what i feel.
The more I'm told, the more I want to stop hearing altogether.

OK..enough now. I'm done. Done the way I'm treating myself. Done the way I feel.
I gave you a good shot.It didn't work. Lets face it. It wasn't meant to be.
Like they say,there will be others.

Wait..wait you think I'm a sloppy heartbroken dejected love sick puppy. Don't you?

Well if you ( the reader) thinks that's what this is about..SURPRISE..you are wrong.

It's about my 1st ever rejection at a job interview.(Gotcha!! ;) but boohoo the sentiment is similar.STING. OUCH.

5 comments:

  1. ok..i will b d 1st goddamn person to take the virginity off this comment wall. im a mindless toker..ppl who read n comment..this is my 1st blog ever on blogspot so bear with me. God bless you if you decide to follow me. n plz dnt b mean.it adds to d "misery".;0

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  2. <3
    i like, i like :D
    the feeling is seriously similar dude!!
    i actually was hyperventilating while reading this- couldn't wrap my head around the concept that you could be writing something that looked like a 'post-breakup tirade.'
    my bad!!

    hugs

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  3. u shud;ve knwn btr vat..but dats d point..its d twist..lol

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  4. writers note: i eventually bagged the same job..i was crying about..its happened aftr i stopped crying ofcourse

    ReplyDelete